Oh Darlings, SCOTUS Wants to Play Doctor Now? Let's Talk About Conversion Therapy and Court's Messy Docket

Brian Michael
Oct 7
3 min read

By Brian Michael, Fab Gay House Hubby

Darlings, it's your Fabulous Gay House Husband of Nashville here, coffee in one hand and judgement in the other, because today we are spilling some serious tea about the Supreme Court of the United States. Yes, the very same nine justices who think they're the guardians of democracy while also acting like the world's crankiest HOA board.

Let's get into it.

The Supreme Circus: This Season's Line-Up

The Court's Docket this term is more jam-packed than a drag queen's suitcase before Pride weekend. Here is what has already gone down:

They upheld Tennessee's cruel ban on gender-affirming care for trans youth.
Translation: six justices decide they know better than every credible medical association in America.
They've been tossing out rulings on the "shadow docket" faster than Grindr hookups-little explanation, zero accountability.
And Now? Honey, they've agreed to take on conversion therapy. Yes. That same pseudoscience nightmare that says queerness is something to be "fixed."

I can already feel my blood pressure rising. Someone pass me a Coke Zero.

Chiles v. Salazar: The Case Nobody Asked For

At the center of this hot mess is Chiles v. Salazr. A Christian counselor in Colorado says the state's ban on coversion therapy for minors violates her "free speech." In other words: she wants to tell queer kids they're broken and call it "therapy."

Colorado, bless her heart, said no ma'am - you cannot use a state license to peddle snake oil to vulnerable children. Every major medical and psychological group agrees, conversion therapy is harmful. It's linked to depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideation. Period.

But here come the justices, squinting at the law like it's a suspicious casserole at a church potluck:

Justice Alito worried that maybe the law unfairly favors "pro-LGBTQ" speech. (Sir, you just compared basic acceptance to government censorship. Take several seats.)
Meanwhile, the liberal justices tried to remind the room that this a bout protecting kids, nit silencing sermons.

Why This Matters: It's Bigger Than Queer Kids

Yes, at its core this case id about LGBTQ+ youth. But honey, don't miss the bigger picture:

If SCOTUS strikes down Colorado's law, it could make it harder for states to regulate any professional speech, whether it's doctors spreading medical misinformation, or therapists pushing junk science.
If they uphold the law, states keeps the power to say: "Hey, you can't hurt kids under the guise of counseling."

My Take: Don't let them Dress Hate in a Lab Coat

Conversion therapy isn't therapy. It's abuse wrapped in religious language and billed by the hour. And if SCOTUS sides with the counselor, it won't just roll back LGBTQ+ protections, it'll give a green light to all kins of "professional" quackery.

To my fellow fabulous queers and allies: keep your eyes on this case. Because while the justices debate whether "pray away the gay" counts as free speech, real kids' lives hang in the balance.

And to the justices, especiallu you, my six conservative aunties in robes, remember: when history looks back, nobody's going to remember your tortured legal gymnastics. They'll remember whether you stood with vulnerable kids or handed abusers a microphone.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go fluff a pillow, stir my chili, and scream into the void for a minute.

Stay fabulous, stay loud, and stay proud.

Brian Micheal